Random XIII
by Stallions and Dragons
Summary: A story about Axel and Roxas' retarded adventures being O13 members. Includes a lot of OOCness and...other strange things...Comments are appreciated! anime sweat drop
1. CHIKINZ

Hey ya'll! Howsit goin'? Been doin' any fun stuff lately? (Nod your head please.) This is just something I did for my own personal entertainment and I usually don't write such trashy stories, but this was a result of being "over-home worked" and weekend boredom. Welp, read and if you don't like it there's a big "X" button at the top right-hand corner of the screen you can click. (Note: It's not finished!) It also contains an unbelievable amount of OOCness just as a reminder.

**Random Chapter Number 1: CHIKINZ**

It was a boring, rainy day and Roxas and Axel were just hanging out around the castle at the World That Never Was. They had raided the Sea Salt ice cream supply (not a big surprise to those who know Axel and Roxas well) and had nothing else to do besides sit and stare at the walls like a couple of average retards.

Maybe it had something to do with that ice cream he ate, or maybe he was inspired by the ever so boring walls, but Roxas had a very strange idea. "I HAVE AN IDEA!" exclaimed Roxas.

"Holy crap, don't scare me like that!" Axel said suddenly jumping up. He took a moment to pull himself together and said, "Okaaay...what was your idea?"

"How about we get a pet to play with!" said Roxas. "I mean, there's nothing to do here at all!" 

"Well, we are Nobodys and it's very typical for us to have 'nothing to do'." Axel said.

"Well that makes me feel so much better!" Roxas said rolling his eyes. "C'mon Ax, you have to admit doing nothing all day gets old after a while!" He threw a popsicle stick at one of the enormous stain glass windows. 

"Well, we do have the cute Dusks as pets!" said Axel

"Aw, shucks, they're twice as boring!" Roxas groaned.

"Nuh-uh! Watch!" Axel whistled and two Dusks appeared, "See they are very loyal."

"What else do they do?" asked Roxas he had an tired expression on his face.

"Umm...well...sit Dusks!" Axel commanded. The Dusks just stood there, their arms and legs waving up and down. "Roll over!" Ditto. Axel threw a popsicle stick at them, "Fetch, Dusks! Fetch!" Once again, they did not do anything. "Stand there and do nothing!" Obviously, they did as they were told. "Goooooooood Dusks, goooood! Now do something besides that!" The Dusks refused to obey Axel's orders. "Okay, you're right they are boring!"

"I told you!" Roxas said.

"But what kind of pet could we get...if the Superior would let us?" asked Axel.

"Don't tell Ol' Mansex, he might say 'no'!" said Roxas. "Besides, what does he care about animals, he's too fat!" (I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but apparently to Roxas, Xemnas is fat.) 

"Yeah, you're right he's too fat!" said Axel, "So, are we getting a dog or cat?"

"Neither." said Roxas.

"What? You don't like puppies or kitties?" Axel asked.

"Yeah...I do but...dogs pee too much and cats scratch too much! It would be too hard to take care of them!" said Roxas.

"How about a rabbit?" asked Axel. 

"They have too many babies and more babies means more carrots to buy. Rabbits would defiantly not fit our budget!" said Roxas.

"Gerbils?" asked Axel.

"They are just as boring as the Dusks and they bite too much!" Roxas said.

"A cow?" asked Axel.

"Are you kidding? They have to be milked every day!" said Roxas, "Besides, what are we gonna do with all the milk? I'm lactosentolerate!"

"A pony?" asked Axel.

"I don't know how to ride a pony!" Roxas exclaimed.

"A snake?" Axel asked. He felt that it would take a while for Roxas to make his desicion.

"Get serious Axel, you know snakes are poisonous!" Roxas said.

Axel sighed, "Okay so all mammals and reptiles are out of the question. Can you just make up your mind already! Just get a chicken or something!"

Roxas gasped, "Axel...you're a genious!"

"W-what? I meant that as a joke, heheh...," Axel hoped this wasn't going where he thought it was.

"Let's get chickens!" Roxas said excitedly.

"Roxas are you crazy? Chickens are the most boring and hard to handle than any other animal I've mentioned!" Axel said. "They aren't loyal, they aren't friendly...,"

"But I like chickens!" Roxas said.

Axel tried to talk his friend out of this. "Think of all the diseases they carry! Salmonella! Bird flu!"

"I said 'I like chickens'!" said Roxas, "Think of it Axel, we'll never be late for a mission because the chicken will wake us up in the morning! We won't have to eat stupid Pop-Tarts in the morning, we can eat eggs and for dinner we can eat chicken wings! The hot spicy one's you like!"

Axel thought about this for a minute. Either he might be chewed out by the Superior for bringing chickens into the castle or he could have a life-time supply spicy buffalo wings. "Okay, you win, we'll get chickens!" 

"Yeeeesssss!" Roxas said and started singing, "_I'm gonna get some chickens! I'm gonna get some chickens! I'm gonna get some chickens! I'm gonna..._-," Axel cut him off.

"We'll get chickens on one condition." said Axel.

Roxas sighed, "What?"

"_YOU_ have to buy, name, feed, and clean up after them." He replied.

"Umm...okay..._I'm gonna get some chickens! I'm gonna get some chickens! I'm gonna get some chickens_!" Roxas continued singing. And thus our retarded story begins...um, yeah.


	2. MOR DISKUSHIN ON CHIKINZ

**Random Chapter Number Two: MOR DISKUSHIN ON CHIKINZ**

"_We're gonna get some chickens! We're gonna get some chickens! We're gonna get some chickens_!" Axel and Roxas sang as they walked up and down the hallways of the Organization XIII castle. Meanwhile, Larxene was in her room trying to enjoy one of those sadistic novels she always reads but couldn't because she kept hearing this annoying monotonous singing from outside. Hearing the voices get louder and louder, she sighed heavily, threw her book across the room, and warped out in front of the two singing morans.

"WHAT THE CRAP???!!!" Larxene demanded, scaring them almost to death. 

Axel and Roxas stopped singing and froze in ther tracks. It was Axel who broke the silence, "Erm...howdy-do Larxene? Been reading and good books lately?" He laughed nervously.

"I would be if it weren't for you guys struttin' around like you own the place singing about chickens!" she said.

"You know we're really gonna get chickens right?" asked Axel.

Larxene gave them a blank look, "Whatever...now I'll just be going...," She turned to leave but Roxas stopped her.

"Wait, Larxene! Guess what's we're gonna get!" said Roxas whose brain had just arrived from it's trip to La-la Land.

"What?" Larxene gave a loud sigh and turned around to face Roxas. Good God, if there was one thing she hated in this world, it was having to look at the dorky expression on this blonde doofus.

"We're gonna get chickens!" Roxas exclaimed. "Aren't you excited?" Axel elbowed Roxas in the rib cage.

"I already told her that, Dummy!" Axel snapped.

"You know what?" Larxene asked.

"What? What?" Axel and Roxas asked excitedly. (Although Axel really wanted to say "Chicken butt!") 

"You guys are gay." And with that, Larxene made a portal thingy...and warped away from them. Axel and Roxas stood there with shocked expressions.

"She is so mean!" Roxas said angrily, "We are not gay just because we want chickens!" 

"Well, you're the one that came up with the idea ya' know!" Axel said. "So that makes YOU the only gay one!" 

"Whose side are you on?" Roxas demanded, kicking Axel in the shin.

Axel shoved Roxas into a wall, "My own side!" Roxas punched Axel in the arm. "Quit it, Retard! I was just joking!" Axel yelled and he shoved Roxas on the floor. "I'm leaving, you're such a pest!" Roxas angrily got up on his feet.

"You know what? You suck...monkey butt!" Roxas yelled at Axel but his friend ignored him and kept walking away. And so they never spoke to each other for the rest of the day. 

Okaaay... that was retarded...

It was dinner time and it is with all boys, Axel and Roxas forgot about their previous argument and were friends again. Anyway, with that settled...  
Dinner was always take-out and it was always something lame like McDonalds and occasionally, if they were lucky, pizza. Tonight was McDonald's night so well...they got hamburgers and french fries. Axel and Roxas decided to eat their food together in the T.V. room. (No castle should be without a T.V. right?) Some other members were in there too. Marluxia, to their dissapointment was there too.

"So Larxene told me ya'll were getting chickens." Marluxia said sitting down beside them and leaning over in their faces.

Axel and Roxas looked up at him grumpily. They hated being disturbed while they were eating. "Marluxia, get your Pepto Bismal hair out of our food!" Axel said coldly, his mouth full of hamburger. 

"Yeah, go hump your stupid flowers or something!" Roxas said and stuffed some ketchup covered french fries in his face. Axel laughed at this.

Marluxia raised one eyebrow at them and backed away, "Think you're so cool, huh?" he asked. "I bet, even if you _WERE_ going to get chickens you wouldn't have the munny to get it anyway."

"Are you sayin' we're broke?" Roxas demanded in the most stupid way possible. 

"Um...nah dip, Sherlock," Marluxia said plainly."Chickens cost munny, and you don't have any by the looks of it."

"Whatever!" Axel mummbled. "We can get jobs, can't we Roxas?" Axel looked at Roxas with a confused expression on his face.

"Um...sure!" Roxas lied and he gave a nervous smile to cover it up.

"Well, then, you guys are not as dim as I thought," Marluxia said with a smug smile on his face and he got up to leave, "I'll just inform the Superior that ya'll will be getting jobs so you can get...-." Suddenly Marluxia's arms were grabbed and he was forced down to the ground. Axel and Roxas looked at him threateningly. Marluxia began to get scared.

"Horray for cat fights!" shouted Demyx randomly, the only person who was paying attention to the stupid scene that was taking place.

"Tell him and you die!" Axel growled looking Marluxia in the eyes. 

"Yeah, Fatso Deluxe will say 'no'!" Roxas said. 

"For the fourth time, Roxas, Xemnas is not fat!" Marluxia gasped. (Axel and Roxas were sitting on top of his lungs.) 

"Who's fat?" Demyx asked out loud looking around the room to see who they were talking about.

All three ignored his question. Axel and Roxas got off of Marluxia who hurried out of the room quickly. "Whew that was close," Axel said, "Good thing Marluxia's scared of us! But are you serious?" he asked.

"Serious about what?" Roxas asked with a surprised expression on his face.

"Are you serious we can get jobs, Phlegm-wad?" Axel asked. Roxas just sat there and wore a really stupid looking expression on his face. "You know, to get...chickens! Cluck, cluck, cluck!" He waved his hand in front of Roxas' face.

"Umm...yeah, yeah, sure!" Roxas said returning from space cadet mode. "We can go to Twilight Town! I used to help out there all the time!" He smiled brightly.

"Roxas, we're talking BIG time jobs like working at the Waffle House or Hardeys, not helping some old man take out the trash!" said Axel.

"But it's fun that way!" Roxas said, "And you don't just get to take out trash, you can kill bees too!" Axel rolled his eyes. But they had no choice, it was the only way they could get munny to buy those stupid chickens. So the next day they decided they would take a trip in a Gummi Ship to Twilight Town.

...to be continued

gasp A cliff hanger! What will become of the two idiotic adventurers? Will they get enough munny to get chickens? Will Marluxia be able to keep Axel and Roxas' terrible secret? Will they be able to even make it to Twilight Town without recking the Gummi Ship?

Is there anyone who really cares...? -- (I sure don't)


	3. PLAYYING SIK

**Random Chapter Number Three: PLAY-YING SIK **

So it was decided, Axel and Roxas would be going to Twilight Town to get jobs in order to obtain munny to get chickens ( or whatever...). That night they had planned when they would leave and how much munny they would need to make, etc. They thought they had the perfect plan in order. They would simply sneak out and afterwards sneak back in, but, unfortunatly for them, one eensy weensy teensy problem stood in their way. The next day when they were about to head down to the Gummi hangar, Siax warped right in front of them. This scared them badly.

"Geez, Man! This warping thing is torture on us!" Axel said. "I think you guys are really trying to scare us to death, huh?" 

Siax dissmissed Axel's remark, "Where do you boys think you're going? The Superior has scheduled a meeting for the entire Organization today." Axel and Roxas looked at him like he was crazy, "Oh, yes, figures. You both are too dim to remember such things."

"Aww, thanks for remindin' us, Sia," Axel said and put his arm around Siax's neck like they were old friends, "But we have a few errands to run, so we'll uh...just tell Mansex...I-I mean Xemnas, (Roxas tried so hard to keep from laughing) to mark us absent for today, so we'll just be...," 

Siax shoved Axel's arm away, "I believe, we cannot do that. You see, all of our meetings are mandatory or did you forget that as well?" He gave them an annoyed look. They just sat there. "Very well, then I'll tell Xemnas you idiots were too busy to attend a meeting. I can only imagine how angry he would be if he hears that. Hmm...wonder what he'll do to you two...," He was about to leave when his arms were grabbed from behind and he was thrown to the ground by Axel and Roxas."WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!" he demanded loudly.

"Fine we'll come to your stupid meeting!" Axel growled, "Just don't...,"

"Okay, fine!" Siax yelled "Just get off of me!" And shoving them both off, he got up and warped away. Axel and Roxas exchanged dissappinted looks.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Roxas, "We can't leave because if we do Stupid Siax will tell Fatty 2 x 4 that we ditched on purpose and if we don't we won't be able to get chickens!" He wanted to cry, but Axel had other ideas.

"Don't worry, Man, we don't have to go to that stupid meeting if we're sick! I remembered that much!" Axel said.

Roxas gave Axel a blank look, "Greaaat, just one problem...WE AREN'T SICK! We're as healthy as horses!" he exclaimed.

"I meant PRETEND to be sick, Dummy!" Axel said, "We can go there and you can fake like you're about to throw up and I'll pretend to be your escort to the bathroom! It'll be a peice of cake!"

Roxas thought about this for a moment, "Ya' think they'll buy it?" he asked.

"If a pink haired dweeb is scared to tell someone about chickens than I bet they'll fall for a guy pretending to be sick." said Axel making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

"But I don't feel sick!" Roxas said, "I can't throw up without feeling sick first!"

Axel slapped himself in the head. He couldn't believe how dumb Roxas was, "Ya' know what, Rox' just leave the fake sickness to me, 'kay?" he said.

Roxas agreed to this and they both headed to...some room...where the Organization XIII had their meetings (or whatever) at. Everyone was already there so obviously they were late. Luckily the other members were too engrossed in some kind of topic they were debating on, they didn't notice that Roxas and Axel even entered the room. They sat in some random chairs and sat there waiting for them all to shut up.

"Dude, I really think there should be a world based on the Cheetah Girls in Kingdom Hearts III," said Marluxia, "EVERYONE loves the Cheetah Girls!"

"Oh, yes, and I suppose there will be a Hannah Montana world or maybe even a Suite Life of Zack and Cody world?" Xemnas sarcastically said.

"Superior, I strongly request that there be a Hocapontus world featured in the next KH game!" Luxord said, imitating Marluxia's voice.

"Hey, stop making fun of me!" Marluxia whined, "My idea's are hott!"

"Your mom is hott!" Demyx said randomly.

"What do you think, Xemnas, don't you think my ideas are the coolest ever?" asked Marluxia.

"No, I think your ideas are pretty gay." said Xemnas. Everyone except Marluxia laughed at this.

"Fatso's in an awfully cheerful mood for this early in the morning!" Roxas said, almost too loudly.

Axel elbowed his friend in the rib cage again, "Quiet down, Mansex will kick your ass into next week if he heard you say that!"

"Who would really give a crap?" Roxas asked.

"Well, if you have a broken ass, you won't be able to get chickens!" Axel hissed trying to encourage Roxas to keep his voice down. Roxas' eyes widened and he straightened in his seat and became very quiet. Axel gave a sigh of relief. After a few minutes of pulling themselves together, the other members were ready to start the meeting, with an exception of only a few.

Xemnas was the first to speak, "Okay to begin our meeting let's start with Siax...," He looked at Siax and then started laughing really hard. The others rolled their eyes. Xemnas had a laughing problem that was very rare with Nobodies. But sometimes, he'd just laugh for absolutely no reason (seemingly.) 

"Xemnas! Nothing's funny!" Xigbar groaned. He was sick of this.

"Oh, sorry...hahahha...I was just remembering an inside joke me and...hahahahhaa...Vexen made up about Siax!" He continued to laugh really hard as if it was the funniest thing in the world and began pounding his fists on Xigbar's arm (an alternative to pounding his fists on the floor and rolling around while laughing).

"Xemnas, oh geez...that was two months ago!" Vexen said.

"Owww! Stop!" Xigbar said and shoved Xemnas's arm away.

Angered at this Xemnas punched Xigbar as hard as he could in his stomach. "What'dya do that for? Ya' want me to kill you?" he demanded

"I was about to ask the same question!" Xigbar said through clenched teeth.

After taking a minute to chill out... Xemnas once again addressed Siax. But before Axel let him say anything he raised his hand like you would in school.

"What do you want, Stupid?!" Xemnas demanded impatiently.

"May I go to the bathroom?" asked Axel, pretending to sound sick. 

"Um...no...," said Xemnas glaring at Axel.

"Why not?" asked Axel.

"Because...you can hold it." Xemnas said, "Your not a little kid."

This was why Axel wanted Roxas to do this, but he knew if he let him, he would ruin it for them because he was so stupid, "Come on, Man, it's not like that!" Axel whined as if he were in pain.

"Shut up before I kill you." Xemnas said.

"Seriously, you want me to throw up? Right in front of you?" Axel exclaimed, pretending to be shocked.

"Faker!" Demyx shouted. 

"No, it's true, Axel's really, really sick! He threw up once already this morning!" Roxas lied. Axel gave a sigh of relief that Roxas had not blurted something stupid.

"Really?" Xemnas asked. "I think you're faking."

"Please!" Axel begged. He gave a few exagerrated fake coughs like he was about to vomit.

"Fine, no one wants to see your barf." said Xemnas and Axel sped out of the room like a lightning bolt. 

Roxas followed after him, saying, "Axel! I'll catch it in my hand!" After leaving the room Roxas and Axel stopped their little act and ran to the Gummi hangar. "Whooaaa cool, I've never played sick before AND got away with it!" Roxas exclaimed as he and Axel hopped into one of the ship cockpits.


	4. SEYEFURZ NUU RULZ

**Random Chapter Four: SEYEFURZ NUU RULZ**

"Cool, I've never been to a new world before!" Roxas said two hours later as Twighlight Town came into view.

"Yes you have, Dummy, and this same one as a matter of fact!" Axel said and than took a sip of his vanilla Coke. (Only because it was the only thing the O/13 Gummi Ships had because Xemnas loves vanilla coke.)

"I know," Roxas said, "I just wanted to say that."

"I figured you had some stupid excuse like that!" Axel laughed. 

Finally, after two hours, they reached their destination and they landed in some random back alley that would keep people from gawking at them. Roxas skipped out merrily and was humming "A Whole New World." Axel, however, stumbled out like a tired old horse and had to lean against a brick wall.

"Geez...that was some work piloting that ship, I hope in the future they invent a way to warp to the different worlds!" Axel said, exhausted. He began panting heavily like an asthmatic cow.

"Ya' know Axel," said Roxas as he reached into his pocket and got on of those sea-salt icecream bars. "We could have just warped here like all the other Nobodies do. Why did we have to bring a Gummi ship? And why couldn't we have just gotten here after the meeting instead of having to lie so we could ditch?"

Axel gave a heavy sigh realizing his own stupidity, "Ya' know, what Roxas? Ya know what? The reason why we went through soooo much trouble is because we're morans, okay? Morans, morans, morans, morans, I'll ya, we're morans! MORANS! MORANS MORANS!!!" Axel continued to say the word "morans" and banging his head against the brick wall. Roxas didn't care so he just ignored him.

It just so happens that, Pence came along (that fat dude that's in Hayner's gang. incase you don't recall) whistling to himself and then he discovered Axel and Roxas. When he heard Axel repeating the word "morans" he stopped whistling, his eye widened. He ran up to Axel and pointed his index finger directly in his face and said: "OOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh, YOU SAID A BAD WORD!!!!!"

There was an awkward moment of complete silence following this.

"Um... and who might you be?" Axel asked; he was very confused and actually a little bit scared.

"Hey it's Pence!" Roxas shouted excitedly.

"You know him?" Axel asked.

"Oh, hi Roxas!" Pence exclaimed, removing his attention from Axel. "Howsit goin'?"

"Whoawhoawhoawhoa...Okaaaay...um how do you guys know each other?" Axel asked, "Roxas, ya know, you're not supposed to tell people, your name anyway! Have you ever heard of 'in cognito'?"

"Clogs are not neato, Axel, for the fourth time this month!" Roxas said.

"I'm not talking about clogs, Stupid!" Axel exclaimed. 

"OOOOOooooooh, you said ANOTHER BAD WORD!!!" Pence exclaimed, jumping back in front of Axel's face and pointing his index finger at him.

"Hey, Pence, don't spazz out, it's not that bad of a word." said Roxas.

"Oh, yeah...I forgot to tell you," said Pence, "Seifer made up some more stupid rules."

"Who is Seifer?" asked Axel, "Isn't he that dragon from that anime Yu-Gi-Oh?"

Before Roxas could answer Axel's question, Hayner and Olette came on the scene. "Hey, there you are Pence, we were looking all over for you...oh, hi Roxas." Hayner said.

"Yo, Hayner!" Roxas shouted. "Anyway, Axel, Seifer is...,"

"Axel?" Pence asked, "Is that his name?"

"Axele Rose?" asked Olette.

Axel quickly tried to make something up, "No, hahhahah, very funny...I'm not Axel, that was just a nickname we came up with...my real name is...uh...uh...,"

"Chamillionaire!" Roxas quickly filled in.

"Yeah, that's right, my name is Chamillionaire!" Axel said.

"No kiddin'?" Hayner asked his voice raised with excitment.

"Um...nope," Axel said nervously. "That's my name, all right! Well anyway, what were you saying about that Sirus dude?"

"Oh, ya' mean Seifer?" asked Roxas.

"Ooooh, let's not forget Seifer, why dontcha just marry him already Roxas! You talk about him twenty-four/seven!" Hayner whined in the most annoying way ever.

Roxas ignored this stupid remark and continued to tell Axel, "Seifer is like the town disciplary unit...or whatever." he said.

"So he's basically like the sheriff?" asked Axel.

"Um...he is not as...well...nice as a sheriff, but I guess you can call him that." Roxas said.

Axel laughed, "I bet I can I can kick his butt!"

"OOOOoooooh!!!! THAT'S THE THIRD BAD WORD YOU'VE SAID!!!" Pence exclaimed.

"Oh, yes, we forgot to tell you, Roxas. Seifer made up new 'rules' while you were gone." said Hayner.

"Now, you can't say any 'bad words'" said Olette.

"No, more like, every word in Webster's D." said Hayner.

"So you can't say 'dictionary' either?" asked Axel.

"OOOOooooh, YOU SAID A...!" Pence couldn't finish his sentence for Hayner had put an ice cream bar in his mouth.

"Nope, you can't say...that word...either." said Hayner.

"What's he gonna do, make you sit in the corner?" asked Axel, he began laughing.

"No, but yesterday, I said the "s" word ("stupid") and he made me walk around town in a cow suit while talking in a British accent the whole day!" said Hayner. "It was miserable!"

"What is he in kindergarten or something?" Axel asked, "Hah! I bet if I say 'dictionary' too loudly, I might start hearing police car sirens! Hahahah!"

Almost as soon as those words left Axel's mouth, the sound of police car sirens were coming towards them, but there weren't any police cars. It was Seifer accompanied by his two comrades, Fuijin and Raijin. Seifer had somehow attatched what looking like a police car light onto a yellow mine worker helmet and was wearing it on his head. Coming from a boom-box that Rai was carrying, a tape recording of a police siren was heard. Axel nearly busted out laughing when he saw this retarded scene that lay before his eyes.

The tape-recording stopped and Seifer held up some mini water guns. "Hands up or I'll squirt!" he threatened. Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette held their hands up. Axel just sat there with a confused look on his face. His made a mental note to never go to this town again for the rest of his entire life.

"Okay, which one of you was cussin', hmm?" Seifer asked.

"Him." Pence said pointing directly at Axel. "Four in a row!" 

Roxas gasped as if he just discovered this terrible news, "Axel Elizabeth Oglethorpe II! I'm ashamed of you!" (Roxas randomly added on the middle name and the last name.)

"You're name's Axel, eh?" asked Seifer.

"Oh, no of course it's not!" said Axel.

"It's not?" asked Roxas, his eyes wide.

"No, it's...um...who was that rapper again?" asked Axel.

"Chamillionaire?" Olette asked.

"Yeah, yeah! My name's Chamillionaire. Axel is just my...uh...Hebrew name. I'm originally from Java." Axel lied. He knew that his statement sounded retarded, but he knew people that looked as idiotic as these three, might actually fall for it. 

"Oh, so you're Chamillionaire?" Seifer said, "Wow, I had better expectations of you. You of all people should know the "d" word ("dictionary") is highly offensive to rappers!"

"Oh, my bad. Just slipped out on accident...sorry." Axel said nervously.

"You better be, ya know!" Rai said.

"Agreed." said Fuu. 

"Apology accepted," said Seifer, "But that doesn't mean you won't be punished!" he laughed.

"Shut up! You're retarded! I don't have to listen to you! I came here to get money so I could get chickens and if you got a problem with it, than you can stick this sea-salt ice cream stick up your ass as far as you can and then tell me how it feels!" Axel said holding up on of those ice cream stick- thingies.

Pence gasped noisily, "OOOOOoooooooooohhhh, YOU SAID... (counts on his fingers)... THREE BAD WORDS!!!"

"Hey, that's mine!" Hayner protested and swiped the ice cream stick away from Axel.

Seifer just stood, looking shocked, "I did NOT just hear that! No way! Me? No one has ever offended me, before!"

"Um...actually someone just did." said Pence.

"Okay, can we just go now! This is getting stupid!" said Axel.

"Hey, no one hurts Seifer's feelings and just walks away like that, that's just...just...um...ya know!" said Rai, "Look ya' made him cry, ya know!" And there was Seifer with his head buried in his hands and fake-crying away.

"Apologize." Fuu said. 

Axel groaned, "Let's just go Roxas. I can't stand to look at that dweeb!"

"Bye, guys!" Roxas said cheerfully.

"See ya' Rox!" Hayner said.

After they left those extremely weird folk, Axel and Roxas decided to start looking for some way they could make money. They looked in a newspaper that they found on the street and found that there were several jobs. However, none were nearly as great as the jobs Roxas had described. One was to babysit some dogs another was to spread manure in some field and the third was to feed some dude's chickens while he was on a three day vacation. Wait a minute...did I just see the word "chicken"?

"That's it Axel!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Axel.

"Yeah, let's go spread some manure!" Roxas said.

"Nope, that's not what I was thinking." Axel said.

Roxas sighed, "Darn, got it wrong again!" 

"We should try taking care of that man's chicken's while he's away." Axel said, "Maybe this will be our chance to see if chickens are right for us!"

"Great idea...but...Axel, this doesn't mean you have doubts about my chicken owning skills?" Roxas asked.

"Huh?" Axel said, he didn't quite understand what Roxas was talking about. 

"Nothing...," Roxas said, "Alright, let's go take care of those chickens!"


	5. WEAKIND W CHIKUNZ

Chapter Five: WEAK-IND WITH CHIKUNZ

"Are you sure this is the place, Ax?" Roxas asked as they arrived at the dreary apartment building that supposedly belonged to the owner of the chickens.

"Well it matches the address in the newspaper so it must be." Axel said. He walked up to the house and rapped his knuckles on the door. There was no answer or reply and he did not hear the sound of footsteps, so he knocked again. Nobody came. "Gee, I wonder if he's even home." he wondered.

"Maybe he's an old man and he's deaf!" Roxas said, "HEY DUDE! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW, WE'RE HERE TO WATCH YOUR CHICKENS!" He banged on the door with his fist.

"Roxas Merrideth Nugyen, you do not speak to elderly people in that manner!" Axel scolded.

Roxas apparently ignored this because he whipped out his keyblade, Oblivion, but before he could use it as a battering ram, Axel held him back. He began to hear footsteps approaching the door then, the doorknob turned and opened. Boy, were they surprised! Axel had imagined a calm elderly man, living alone with poultry as his only company and just itching to take a short trip to the beach. However, his assumption was far from being correct.

"What the hell?" Seifer Almsay demaded as he opened his door and discovered Axel and Roxas, "Didn't I tell you duck-butted morans to beat it?" Axel rolled his eyes. He figured, Seifer only made up those stupid rules about "foul language" so that he would be the only one throwing the insults.

"No," Roxas replied bluntly, "But, we wanted to know if you would pay us if we watched your chickens for a few days."

"Oh, yeah, I'm leaving for three days. Just now I was packing. Anyway, Roxas, why is it that all of a sudden you want to get some money? I thought you were part of some terrorist gang. Akatsuki wasn't it?" Seifer asked.

"No, we're part of Org-. . .," Before Roxas could finish, Axel had covered the boy's mouth with his hand.

"We were erm. . .planning. . .to go to the beach and we just wanted some cash so we could pay for the gas." said Axel. He took his hand away from Roxas' mouth.

"Ya' know Axel, we ican/i warp there using our powers." Roxas said.

"Shut up!" Axel hissed in his ear. "Are you stupid?"

"I don't know, I never really thought about it before." Roxas whispered back to him.

"Really sorry that I asked. . .," Axel muttered, rolling his eyes.

Seifer was quiet for a moment as if he was thinking good and hard about whether these fellows were reliable enough to babysit his chickens. It didn't take him long to make his final desicion. "Okay, it's a deal. Come in an I'll show you around."

Half-relieved, half-dissapointed, Axel entered the dumpy looking apartment that was Seifer's home with Roxas excitedly skipping beside him. For some reason, he had the sinking feeling as if he would regret doing this with Roxas. He had eaten, lived, and slept in the same facility as Roxas, but never in a tiny, cramped, lousy excuse for a house. . .for three straight days. iPlease, let him go to sleep quickly tonight./i Axel prayed. (Heh, he sounds like a stressed-out, full-time mother.)

Seifer's "house" was even more crappier than Axel had imagined. The walls and ceiling were stained in mold spots and finger prints. The furniture was worn out and probably ridden with fleas and mites. The floor was covered with a bunch of random stuff from Pop Tart crumbs to empty chicken food sacks. iDamn, this guy lives like a friggin'pig. No wonder, he aint got a girlfriend!/i However, despite the piles of dirty laundry, bubblegum wrappers, Wal-Mart bags, and empty ice cream cartons that decorated the floor, mounted on the pathetic sheet rock wall was a gorgeous plasma television of the highest quality. Plugged into it were multiple gaming systems and basically everything that a young male teenager ever wanted. It was the only thing that made the room worth being in.

"Welp, this is the living room, now I'll show you the chickens." Seifer said and began to walk towards a screen door that obviously led outside to the chicken coop. Roxas continued to stare in awe at the T.V. and the other things with it. Axel elbowed the blonde boy in the ribs, urging him to follow Seifer.They were led outside to a decent-looking, small, yard that was big enough to keep in two large dogs. The ground was covered with the usual straw, mud, and chicken crap and in a sense it had a cleaner feeling to it than the house itself.

"Where are the chickens, Seifer?" Roxas asked, "Did they fly south for the winter?"

"You idiot! Chickens don't fly! Besides, it's the middle of summer, why the ihell/i would you come up with such a stupid idea?" Seifer asked. "They're in the damn coop! Duh!"

Roxas hung his head as if he were ashamed with himself, "I- I'm sorry, Dude." Roxas' sad expression made Axel have some sympathy for him. The kid only asked a simple question although it was completely stupid and idiotic.

Seifer opened the small door to the chicken coop that housed four plump looking Rhode Island Red hens that sat quietly on their nests. "Yeah. . .so there they are. . .okay, now I'm off- ," Seifer was about to close the chicken coop door before Roxas asked.

"Umm. . .uh. . .wait! What are their names! How what will know to call them by?" Roxas asked in a panicky way. "A- and what will we feed them?" Axel sighed heavily, it was going to be a while before Seifer would be going anywhere.

"Dummy! Chickens don't have names!" Seifer yelled, "Look, Kid, all you have to do for three days is to give them a little food from this bag and then do what ever you want for the rest of the day!" He pointed towards a giant bag that sat in the corner of the tiny chicken house.

"Okay, thanks, we get it, we get it!" Axel said and he began shoving Seifer towards the screen door, "You be on your way, we can handle it!"

"W-wait a sec- . . .," Seifer said as he was back in his house and Axel was putting suit cases in his hands. "Y-your not staying too are you? I thought it was just Rox- . . .,"

"Now, now Seifer' don't overstay your welcome for our sake, just go on and enjoy your vacation!" Axel quickly said and started to push Seifer out of the front door.

"Well. . .alright. . .," Seifer shrugged, "Okay, seeya in three days! I'm off to visit my great-grandmother in Uruguay!"

When Seifer was completely out of the house, Axel slammed the door shut and locked it tightly. "Well, now, all we have to worry about now is. . .ROXAS WHAT THE HELL!?" Before, they even had a chance to settle in, Roxas was already screwing up. The blonde-haired boy was in the kitchen and was holding a carton of icecream and a spoon which he was using to devour the contents of it.

"Hey, Axel, this Seifer sure has good food!" Roxas said, ice cream dripping down his chin, "Too bad he aint got Sea-salt flavor!"

"Roxaaaaaas!" Axel said burying his head in his hands, "You don't eat food out of other people's houses without permission!"

"Ohhhh. . .," Roxas stopped eating and was silent for a moment as if to reflect on the error of his actions. "Oh, well, I'm gonna go check out his room then!" Roxas said and he put the carton down on a nearby counter and started to hurry up the stairs. (Seifer's apartment in this fanfiction has two floors.)

"THAT'S STILL RUDE!" Axel exclaimed, but Roxas ignored him and made his way up the short flight of stairs. Axel groaned in despair, "I swear, that kid's gonna either get shot or thrown in jail one of these days. . .and I have a feeling he's going to wind up in both scenarios." He felt exhausted, but was hesitant to sit down on the sad looking couch that lay before the majestic entertainment system. Axel sat on the floor in front of the television, feeling that the dirty carpet would be at least be a little more sanitary than the other furniture and he found a pizza sauce stained remote control lying underneath a smelly Struggle jersey. Daintily, he picked up the remote and pressed the "POWER" button. Immediatly the black screen burst into color and illuminated the room with it's brilliance. The sound that came from it was so loud and clear that it vibrated the entire little apartment building and scared the living daylights out of Axel (he was already used to the quiet by now). Hastily, he pressed the "POWER" button again and the colorful light melted away and everything was silent.

Axel exhaled slowly, "I gotta learn how to get used to that." He got rup off the floor, dusted off his black jacket, and walked into the kitchen for he was feeling hungry. The kitchen was an even more sad sight then the T.V. room. It wasn't that it was dirty, it was just that there was hardly anything in it. There were no dishes or even a dishwasher. (Seifer used plastic plates and silverware.) All the food that could be seen was either so sort of junk food or instant ramen. The refrigerator was just the same and the freezer was stuffed with cartons of ice cream and popsicles. "Daaaaang, it's a mystery how he's not fatter than that doofus, Pence." Since ice cream seemed like the only thing he felt like eating at the moment, he got one of the cartons out, grabbed a plastic spoon from off the counter top, and began stuffing his face with the frozen dairy treat. "Hey, Roxas,what are you doing up there?" Axel called up the stairs. He got no answer,so he decided to go up there himself. Axel put the ice cream on the counter top and the climbed the stairs up to where Roxas was.

The second floor was surpringly cleaner than any other part of the house. Axel opened one of the two doors that was located on it. It lead into Seifer's room (which was also surprisingly clean) and inside was a small, neatly made bed and a computer that Roxas was sitting at. "What are you doing?" Axel asked leaning over Roxas' shoulder. The blonde boy yelped and lept out of the chair. "Holy crap, don't freak out!"

"Then don't scare me!" Roxas said, "Geez. . .hey, Axel, have you noticed that we're the only characters in probably the entire Kingdom Hearts universe that get's scared so easily?"

Axel ignored Roxas' question and looked at the computer screen, "What the HELL is this?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I hacked into Zexion's MySpace!" Roxas said with a big smile on his face as if he actually made a worthwhile accomplishment.

"Yeah, but you're on Google and you're looking at. . .,"

"Oh, that? I was just looking for pictures to 'jazz up' Zexion's profile, so I decided to get put some nice ZexionxMarluixa fan-art on it." Roxas said. "Isn't that great?"

"Um. . .no, what did Zexion ever do to you?" Axel asked.

"He was a total ass to me over the chicken ordeal so I decided to get my revenge by humiliating him on the World Wide Web." said Roxas, "For some reason I found a lot of these pics, it's pretty weird. Gee, wouldn't it be so weird if people actually drew pictures of us doing stuff like. . .,"

"Th-that's enough Roxas!" Axel said, raising his hand to stop Roxas from speaking any more. "Surely, nobody would draw us. . .doing stuff. . .!"

"Good point, we're not even that popular!" Roxas said and he turned off the computer, "Well, I'm bored of that now, how about we watch some television, I heard the new Naruto episode comes on tonight on Toonami!"

"Don't tell me you actually watch that crap!" Axel said.

"It's pretty good crap if you ask me. Sasuke is sooo hott!" Roxas exclaimed.

"What did you just say?" Axel asked, afraid he just heard what he thought he did.

"Oh, I meant. . .Sasuke is sooo emo! He's such a wussy baby! I hope he dies!" Roxas yelled.

"That's the spirit!" Axel said.

"KUDOS TO ME!" Roxas exclaimed joyfully and leapt in the air.

i pull up, get low, hands up head bobbin' holla at a playa in the spot where the girls go wild pass dash 


	6. PHURST DAE W CHICKUNS

Chapter 6: PHURST DAE W/ CHIKINZ

So that night, Axel finally found out how to turn the volume down, and he and Roxas both watched the anime called Naruto. It was about a blonde kid ninja that wore an orange jumpsuit, a pink haired female ninja that liked to stalk this black-haired, depressed-looking dude called Sasuke (that's the only person he knew in the series), and a weird, old man who strongly resembled Michael Jackson. Roxas kept falling asleep on the floor during the best parts and then after it was over, he attempted to kick Axel in the groin because he was angry that they did not TiVo the episode. After he explained for the third time that Seifer did not have TiVo. Finally Roxas calmed down.

"Dang, I'm tired!" Axel groaned. "My stomach hurts from all that ice cream!"

"We're we gonna sleep then?" Roxas asked, "I sure don't wanna sleep down here, cockroaches might crawl in our ears."

"I guess upstairs." Axel pointed towards the staircase. "I guess we'll just have to sleep in our uniforms."

Roxas nodded and began walking towards the screen door leading to the backyard where the chickens were living. "Um. . .Rox, upstairs is not that way!" Axel said. "You must really be tired to go. . .HEY, you're not really going outside are you, what are you doing?!" He demanded, seeing Roxas open the door and start to walk outside.

"But, Axel, if we don't bring the chickens inside, they'll catch cold!" Roxas said.

"That's very kind of you Roxas, but chickens have feathers to keep them warm, they don't have to come inside!" Axel said, "Now, come back here!"

"I know, but I just want them to come in here and wreck Seifer's house for being a bitch to us." Roxas said.

"Well, in that case, round'em up and throw'em in here!" Axel cried excitedly.

Roxas went outside and collected the five chickens to the best of his ability. It wasn't easy but he managed to only recieve a few pecks and scratches. The rooster was easy to get inside (he chased Roxas back in the house). Once they were all in, Roxas ran at full speed back up the stairs (to keep from getting attacked by the rooster) and went into Seifer's room. Axel was already asleep. Seeing there was no other place to sleep in this room, Roxas decided he would have to share the bed with his friend.

"Hey, Ax move over!" Roxas whispered, Axel continued to sleep soundly. Well, asking nicely didn't work. Roxas stood back from the bed and then ran forward. Then once he was close to the bed, he vaulted onto it and fell clumsily on top of Axel's body.

As soon as all of Roxas' 125 pounds landed on top of him, Axel immediatly woke up and lept to his feet, knocking Roxas on the ground. When he saw that Roxas was the one who had tackled him and not a homicidal maniac, he asked, "Roxas, in case you didn't notice before, I'm- trying"- to- SLEEP!"

"I know, I know, but you wouldn't wake up!" Roxas said standing to his feet.

"That's kinda the point of sleeping, you're not supposed to wake up! Do I need to. . .,"

"No!No! I was trying to make you move over so I could get in the bed!" Roxas yelled.

"WHY?!" Axel asked.

"Because, there's no other place for me to sleep!" Roxas said."So I HAVE to sleep with you!"

"Roxas, you're a great pal and I love you, but not like that!" Axel said.

"No, no, no, no, I know, it's. . .,"

"How about you sleep on the floor, it's nice and clean, and you won't bother me." Axel threw a pillow and one blanket at Roxas' feet. "There, now go to sleep." Roxas was sad to have to sleep on the floor, but he was exhausted. In almost no time, Roxas was dead asleep and he looked very tempting to poke. "Daaaaaaang, he looks almost dead!" Axel said and he tried to get to sleep himself.

For some reason Axel had this strange feeling like he was forgetting something very important. Like that feeling you get just before you realize you forgot to study for a major test. It kept on nagging at his mind and he couldn't sleep. He tried to think hard about what it was, but it was stuck far in the back of his mind. That was when it finally dawned on him, that he was a complete idiot. Here he was, a powerful Nobody of Organization XIII, sleeping in this dumpy house belonging to some weirdo with a bunch of chickens that for some reason he thought he needed to baby sit. Also in this house was a bunch of expensive electronics, a life-time supply of ice cream, and possibly some other valuables. Maybe if he had realized this a little earlier, he wouldn't be sitting here thinking about this. "I'm such a moran."

Roxas was suddenly awoken by Axel's voice. "Wh-what, now?"

"Roxas, get up, we're leaving here!" Axel said, getting off the bed and turning on the light.

Roxas groaned and turned over, "Please, no, I'm tired!"

"Fine! Stay here, I'm going back to the castle and I'm bringing all the chickens and the ice cream and the big T.V.!" Axel said and started walking down the stairs. Roxas immediatly lept up and followed Axel at a jog down to the living room.

Axel and Roxas both stuffed the chickens in a big sack with small breathing holes, put the icecream in some Wal-Mart bags, and the T.V. was also stuffed in a large sack. The whole process took a total of two and one half hours. "Are we going to have to walk ALL the way to the Gummi Ship carrying these bags?" Roxas asked.

"Nope, we're going to go there through the little warpy-thingy-doodle." said Axel. Well, as you can imagine, they went through the "warpy-thingy-doodle" and made it back to the castle of the World That Never Was.

The entire place was pitch black and quiet except for the soft clucking and squaking of the chickens within one of the sacks. Everyone, hopefully was in their beds and they would be able to sneak the bags into Axel's room without being caught and interrogated. However, it happened anyway of course. The two had almost made it to Axel's room, when a figure appeared before them. It did not startle them, but a wave of fear penetrated their non-existent hearts. The only words Axel could mutter were, "Oh. . .snap. . .," Luckily, it turned out the figure was only Marluxia. They both have a giant sigh of relief, thankful the figure was not Xemnas.

"Whoooaaa. . .you guys really got chickens? Heeey. . .how come ya'll are carrying those other giant bags for?" Marluxia asked.

"It's none of your stupid business, Marluxia Dianna Richardson!" Axel said, "Now, step aside before I burn your ass!"

"Fine, but your in MAJOR dog crap tommorow morning!" Marluxia said, "Xemnas is ultimately pissed at ya'll!" With that, the pink-haired guy dissapeared in a whirl-wind of rose petals.

"Marluxia's not very polite is he?" asked Roxas.

"None of us are, Kid." Axel said. "Just, c'mon! We gotta get this stuff up here before someone else finds us. . .or before Marluxia tattles on us."

"We can't just leave the chickens in your room all night, they need to be able to roam freely!" Roxas said, gently putting the bag that held the chickens onto the ground. The big, fat birds squawked as they hit the ground.

"Sure, whatever, just do something with them, I'm too tired to deal with it!" Axel continued to drag the other bags to his room while Roxas released the chickens. As soon as the boy opened the sack, the six chickens scattered in seperate directions, clucking in annoyance and ruffling their feathers. Roxas waved to them and then abandoned Axel to go to his own room to sleep.

Axel finally made it to his room and his collapsed on the bed. His shoulders and back were unbelievably sore and his head throbbed miserably. In spite of the pain he was in, he was more worried about what the next day would be like. Of course, by now Marluxia had probably already told on them, so he gave up on trying to make up an excuse to why it took so long for Roxas and Axel to get back from the bathroom. iHopefully/i, he thought,i Xemnas was stupid enough not to believe Marluxia's story./i

bThe Next Day. . ./b

The first thing that Xemnas woke up to that morning was the sound of someone banging on his door. If you are a non morning-person like Xemnas, you would know that the sound of someone banging on your door to wake you up makes you feel extremely angry as if you want to kick someone in the face. He growled angrily, got up off his bed, and walked to the door. "Who are you and What do you want?" Xemnas demanded.

"It's me, Superior, I have to tell y'all something important!"

iOh great, it's Pepto Bismal./i Xemnas said to himself, recognizing Marluxia's annoying southern drawl.(Okay, so I decided to make Marluxia's English VA a guy from South Carolina, get over it!) "If it's something stupid, I'm gonna kick you in the face." He said and then opened the door.

"Oh Superior, why aren't you wearing any pajamas?" Marluxia asked. For some reason, Marluxia was more concerned about Xemnas' clothes than "something important."

"Idiot, in this fanfiction, we sleep in our clothes; pajamas are for sissies with who have pink hair." Xemnas mummbled.

"Well anyway. . .um. . .I forgot what I was going to say. . .,"

"Was that all you came here to tell me?"

"N-no, it was something else. . .WAIT, WAIT, it's all coming back to me now. . .,"

"I'm going to get some breakfast, come back when you have something 'not stupid' to tell me." Xemnas said and shoved Marluxia out of the way and began walking towards the place where the kitchen was located.

"No wait, Sir! I think I remembered it now!" Marluxia cried.

He ignored Marluxia and continued walking, "Why don't you just go off and die somewhere?"

When Xemnas was almost at the kitchen. . .or whatever. . .he began to notice that there were little brown and white feathers scattered on the floor. He did't really care about them at first, but whe he started to notice more and more of them he started getting ticked off. Maybe it had something to do with what Pepto Bismal was trying to tell him had something to do with them. Oh well, no one really cares anyway. . .

Then as he entered the kitchen. . .or whatever they call it that they keep the pop tarts, the hot pockets, the Trix yogurt, bread, etc., and has a microwave, toaster, and sink in it. . .Xemnas heard this strange noise like a chicken clucking. Thinking it was just a figment of his imagination and it was probably just something wrong with the washing machine on the next floor down, he started to reach for one of the loaves of bread (he wanted toast when he noticed that one of them was missing. Usually, O/XIII kept a few loaves of bread handy because most of the members like to eat sandwiches a lot. He shrugged, making a note to himself to get Demyx to get more bread.

He picked up the second loaf and reached in to get a peice of bread. Suddenly he heard the clucking noise get louder and then heard a scratching noise on the floor. He turned around and then behold!- five live fat chickens stood there. They were looking curiously at the loaf of bread in Xemnas' hand, their tiny black eyes stared at the bread he had in his hands. Xemnas stared back at them, completely speechless. He had that feeling you get when someone does something that makes you angry, but you don't want to believe they ever would do such a thing so you have to let the reality of it set in before you actually get angry.

"Here Chicky-chicky-chicky-chikies!" Xemnas heard Roxas' voice call. The blonde boy came running into the kitchen. In one of his hands was a half-empty bag of loaf bread and in the other, small bread chuncks. The chickens turned their heads when they heard Roxas' voice and began squawking exitedly when they saw the bread chuncks. Roxas smiled brightly as the chickens gathered around his feet. He then threw the chuncks on the ground and the birds snatched the food quickly in their tiny beaks. Roxas looked up at Xemnas and noticed him holding the full loaf of bread, "Been raidin' the kitchen again, Fatty Patty?" He asked.

Xemnas could not hear him very well, for the chickens were clucking so loudly, "Excuse me?" He had to grit his teeth to keep himself from kicking Roxas in the face.

"I mean, how are you doing, Superior?" Roxas asked.

Xemnas cracked his face in to a fake smile, "Oh, I'm just doin' dandy today, Roxy! Yup, just fine n' dandy!"

"Well, that's good." Roxas said. He sighed with relief, "Man, I was thinkin' you were angry about the chickens or somethin'!" Roxas clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "C'mon, chickies! Let's get out of the kitchen so ya' don't crap in our food!" He took a few steps away, shaking the bread bag and the chickens followed him.

Suddenly Axel appeared in the room, (apparently he figured out how to do the cool warpy thingy). He ran quickly up to Roxas, not really noticing Xemnas, "Roxas, what are you doing? Get those idiots out of here, they'll crap all over the place and Xem- . . .," Finally, it was then that Axel was aware that Xemnas was present. All of a sudden he had this funky feeling like somone had dropped a bar bell on his stomach. "Ooooohhhhhhhhh, shiiiiiiiiiizzzzzllle. . .," Were the only words that were able to escape his mouth.

"You ibetter/i be saying 'oh shizzle', Axel Elizabeth." Xemnas growled. His fake smile was now replaced with an ugly scowl. Xemnas' burnt-orange topaz eyes stared at Axel with nothing but pure hatred. He walked towards the red-haired guy, growling like an enraged doberman pinscher and muttering some not words that were not very nice. If it weren't for the other Organization members showing up in the kitchen, he would have murdered Axel on the spot but he didn't want to get blamed if they complained of Axel's guts being splattered on their food.

Marluxia was ahead of the others. He pointed directly at the chickens and said, "Oh, oh, oh Superior!" Marluxia cried, raising his other hand in the air like a preschooler. "I remember now! I was going to tell you that Axel and Roxas ran away from the castle without permission, stole and never returned one of our gummi ships -and I bet they drank all the vanilla coke too- somehow got chickens, and then set them free in the house."

"Um, Marly, I think he might already kinda know that by now." Xigbar said.

"Shut the hell up Xigbar, I'll kick you in the face!" Marluxia said and he glared angrily at Xigbar. Of course, Xigbar wasn't at all shaken by Marluxia's threat, but still he knew it would be wise to shut up anyway.

"You can't even kick that high, Stupid!" Larxene told Marluxia with a laugh.

"I don't even think he can kick a chicken!" Lexaeus said and laughed along with Larxene. Everyone else was either tired or thought this was so unbelievably stupid they didn't care, except for Demyx who probably was probably off in his own little world and not paying attention to reality at all. Xemnas just watched with a bored expression on his face and Axel and Roxas were just trying to keep from laughing as much as they could.

Marluxia's ears turned a bright red, almost blending in with his Pepto Bismal-colored hair. Angrily he lifted his foot up in the air and attempted to kick on of the chickens that was on the ground. However, as soon as his foot was about to hit it, the chicken squawked and hopped out of the way. All Marluxia kicked a bunch of air. Then, everyone, even Xemnas, just busted out laughing. Xemnas grabbed Siax and started punching him like he usually did when he was laughing. "Oh God, Marluxia you're so helplessly retarded it's hilarious!"

Poor Marly was so humilated he felt like crying, "Ya know what, just. . .y'all leave me alone! Just leave me alone!" Then he warped. . .or whatever. . .away to some other room of the castle where he can cry like a girl in privacy.

When he left, everyone's laughter sorta died down. "Hey, what are we laughing about?" Demyx asked with honest seriousness in his voice.

"Demyx. . .just. . .don't worry about it, we were laughing about pudding." said Luxord irritably.

"Yeah, yeah, we were laughing about pudding. . .har, har, har, isn't it just hilarious?" Vexen asked with a sarcastic tone.

"It's doesn't make sense. . .," Demyx said and then walked a little bit away from them to ponder to himself about what was so funny about pudding. However, he couldn't really concetrate because Xemnas was still laughing in the background like it was the funniest thing in the world.

"Okay, Xemnas it's really not that funny anymore. . .," Axel finally spoke.

Xemnas tried to calm down and took a deep breath. Then he shoved Siax back towards the others. "Heehee. .just. . .hehhehheh. . .come to the meeting room. . .or whatever it's called. . .," He said, struggling to be serious and keep from laughing again.

"Hey, we didn't any breakfast!" Larxene cried in an extremely whiny voice. "That aint fair!"

"Shut up before I kill you." Xemnas muttered and his empression suddenly became serious. He sighed heavily and began to stomp down the hallway to the meeting room . . .or what ever that weird place was called.

"You know you can just warp there!" Demyx called after Xemnas, but he just kept on walking. 


End file.
